It's time to sit back and let my words do the talking

Hello everyone!

I don't really want anyone to know about this website. Not the people I know personally anyway. I have this unfounded fear of being judged. I've seen it to often and been a part of it too often. In my daily life, I worry too much about what people think of me, whether they think I deserve the success I have received so far and so on. I have this deep dark fear that people probably don't respect me for the person I am. To counter all these thoughts, I build a wall around myself. Only difference is, I am a very social person. I love listening to people, sharing ideas, gossiping and everything else a young girl my age likes to do. I don't like drawing attention to myself but secretly enjoy the attention I get. This is my life and this is how it has been for the past 25 years of it but I think it's time for me to make an effort to change this.

As someone studying in a coveted B-school in India, one has all the options in the world regarding the choice of company to join post college. At least that's what people think anyway and there are lakhs of kids studying for the mindless CAT examination that is held every year to supposedly separate the grain from the chaff. Don't get me wrong, I am one of the fortunate ones and I definitely don't want to crib about such an amazing opportunity. But criticize I will. This is a rat race and I have struggled hard to stay in the race. Complaining, working hard, networking, partying (on a loop) are all part of my daily routine here in college. This is what we all have been taught and although only a few admit it, this is highly prevalent at a b-school of this stature. I don't think this will change in the next few years, if at all it does change ever. This is a microcosm of human life outside the sacred walls of college. It's been a hard 15 months and there are just 2 months left for us to be released to fight our battles in the big bad world. 

This blog is an attempt to reflect on my experiences in college and in case anyone does happen upon it, to serve as a guidance for those who might be facing some or all of what I have been through in these months. There are people for whom college has been a bigger struggle than it has been for me and I do not in any way mean to say that I have suffered a lot, but it's not that easy to think about much else but your own troubles, especially when most of us have mastered the art of plastering a fake smile on our faces.